Back to reality

I can't believe it's taken me 2 weeks to get on this thing. Maybe it's taken me this long to swallow the fact that my trip is over. :-( Very sad. Very, very sad. Yes - I have come back to reality. A reality in which I don't have a dollar to my name and I sometimes wonder if it was all one amazing dream but I have 1790 photos to prove that it wasn't and memories to last the rest of my life. I miss it all. So much. I miss the simplicity of the life I led 2 months ago. I miss waking up, rolling out of bed and walking through the door to the welcoming screams of 30 little black bodies. I miss working until 7 and taking my time cooking dinner and spending the rest of the night reading a book. I miss having nothing to do but explore a new and exciting place. I miss looking through the world with wide, curious eyes; fascinated with everything I saw before me.

Life for me is back in full swing. I picked up many things right where I left them. Friendships, work, etc. I'm lucky to have gone right back into a position at a middle school in Wilmette, IL where I can utilize my gifts with other kids. I'm working one on one with a 6th grade boy with severe autism. He's non-verbal - which makes him challenging to communicate with. He gets frustrated sometimes and can become agitated and aggressive. Today was my first full day with him alone and I must say that it was great! He's very sweet and I find that we work well together. I was anxious about how it would be working with him. Many people have told me how challenging he is and about the many problems people have had with him. I try to phase out all of that excess information - I find that it colors your judgement of the child too soon and you should get to know the child before listening to other people's opinions. I know it will be a rewarding experience for me.

There are some things that are also different. I realize how much I've changed now that I'm back. I'm very critical of American culture - although I was before, I'm even more now. I remind myself that I can't blame people for being materialistic or ungrateful for what they have - they don't know any better. It does me no good going through my days thinking about that. I need to take what I've seen and experienced and find a way to marry it into a life here in the states. I don't need to live in excess or acquire things just because everyone else does. It's easier said than done. I also don't know whether to keep this blog going now that I'm home. How do I keep writing about a "Life Fully Lived" amidst the monotony of the everyday? I guess that's the real challenge. It's easy to live fully on safari or white-water rafting or diving with sharks. But how do you live fully here? Maybe I should keep this open and investigate that. That would be a challenge. I couldn't write about "I did this" "I did that" today. That bores me just as much to write as it would for people to read.

The goal, though, for me now is to continue living my life as fully as possible. To take advantage of every day. To remind the people I love just how much I love them. To find joy in the simple things. To take time to do something I wouldn't normally do. To stop taking things for granted. To appreciate everything I have. To take care of myself. To not fall into the pattern of everyday life and forget what I've learned on this amazing journey. It will be difficult, I know.